We've got a lot to share on this subject, so buckle up! If you're looking for a day-to-day game plan for daily accountability, be sure to check out our comprehensive male chastity journal, The Self-Discipline Blueprint.
We suspect that there are two primary reasons that you, dear reader, might be reading this blog at this moment in time.
1: You are about to lock your cock for the first time, and you’re anticipating an unimaginable struggle, or 2: You’ve found yourself riding the Massive Wave of Horniness – a special kind of hell that brings frustration to new chastity wearers generally between days two and five of locked life. 🔐
If you're distracted from the things you’re supposed to be focusing on, that is normal. Most people get slammed by the Massive Wave of Horniness between days two and five. If you find yourself incredibly distracted now, or you anticipate incredible distraction when you lock for the first time, you should mellow out soon. Having a deadline or work to focus on sucks, but you’re in luck.
No matter how frustrated you might be, we want to reassure you: Yes, you will learn how to stop feeling horny in chastity and effective strategies to implement to help achieve mind over matter. Like the ones coming in hot, below. 🤓
Chastity is a mind game. And when you approach chastity as a game, you might realize that obeying your own rules is just a matter of coming up with new ways to trick yourself into doing what you set out to do.
Self-Locked Chastity Tips
Tip #1: Keep a chastity journal.
Document your goals, challenges, and areas of improvement for the days ahead. For those who need stringent self-discipline, staying accountable every day (with an AM & PM check-in) can really keep you on track. Plus, it can feel extremely rewarding to look back on your progress.
Tip #2: Make yourself cum.
Yeah, we said it. Make yourself cum while in chastity. Just get it out of your system. Set a goal to give yourself the most intense locked orgasms that you can imagine...for a limited time. As in, between days one and five only, while riding the Massive Wave of Horniness that we mentioned earlier. Go ahead and stimulate your nipples. Put something (safe) in your butt. Touch the tip of your dick through the pee hole of your vented cock cage. Soon enough, the excitement will fade (it will), and you’ll be left locked up.
Tip #3: Use a habit tracker app.
A habit tracker app provides consistent accountability and visual progress monitoring, helping you stay committed to your chastity goals through daily check-ins and streak visualization. The discrete tracking and data insights help you identify patterns, overcome challenging periods, and maintain long-term dedication to your personal discipline journey.
Tip #4: Lock up your sex toys.
All of them. Because if you’re set on orgasming, locking away anything and everything that can make you orgasm is necessary. We recommend a small or large lockable storage container with ventilation.
Tip #5: Size down.
More restrictive cages generally mean fewer orgasmic releases. Despite added pressure from a smaller chastity cage, your body won’t react like it’s getting pleasure the same way it does in roomier men's chastity cages.
Tip #6: The Ol’ Mailbox Trick
Get a PO mailbox in a different town/city/zip code. Some users recommend up to four hours away from where you live. Mail your chastity key/s to the PO Box.
When you're handling the key, always have an envelope addressed. If and when you get the urge to break your rules, it's easy to stick your key in the envelope and drop it in any USPS mailbox OR leave it in your outgoing mail. The keys will be stored securely, but it will take a drive to get them.
Mailbox Trick Bonus Tip: Follow the Five Second Rule
The Five Second Rule is an effective way to keep yourself in line. Originally coined by Mel Robbins, the 5 Second Rule is praised by many as a “life-changing hack” to break bad habits. In the context of chastity, it might just be self-mastery magic.
How it works: The moment you get the urge to unlock or touch your cock, start the five-second countdown. You have five seconds to grab the envelope and seal up the key. Make sure to follow through and leave it in your outgoing mail for USPS.
Tip #7: Create a list of meaningful activities that you will actually do.
Find ways to distract yourself by making a list of positive activities that will help redirect your sexual energy. Find *literally* anything else to do with your hands, even if it’s drawing stick figures on a piece of paper.
This can be a fertile opportunity for some real personal growth, too. Focusing on more intentional or mindful tasks can help improve your day-to-day life, too. Some examples:
Short-Term Activities
- Organize your phone or computer storage. Delete all of those old photos and screenshots that you’ll never need again.
- Get grounded. Go for a walk.
- Wash, fold, or put away the laundry. Cleaning clutter in your space can work wonders on your mental health!
- Write an actual letter to a friend (Yes, the kind of letter that requires stamps. This is how to maximize mileage with the Mailbox Trick.
- Research “Tantra and chastity” online. Learn about ethical conduct and discipline as essential components.
Ongoing Activities
- Create a stretching or yoga playlist on YouTube and complete a video when you feel triggered or tempted. Explore free classes on Udemy and learn a new skill.
- Generate some cash! Create an eBay or Poshmark seller account and start selling stuff you don’t use anymore.
- Create a 7-day meal plan & grocery store list. Implement it. Explore themes like “meal plan for heart health” or “meal plan for gut health."
- Join a free online community like FetLife or r/ChastityTraining and search “self-discipline” for supportive folks.
- Find a consenting accountability partner, and stay in touch weekly. Those online communities are great places to start.
Tip #9: Reprogram your brain. NBD.
There are only so many tasks that you can work into one day. It's the slow time between distractions that is the most challenging. This is when mindset matters the most. Adopt a mindset that you’re just not into orgasms. (Easier said than done.) We’d love to get into Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) for chastity, but we’re chastity experts, not psychologists!
....Or ARE we??? 😮🤔
Anyways. Recommended research: Neuro-linguistic Programming Techniques you can use every day.
Ways to Hide Your Chastity Key
The idea is to build minor (or serious) physical barriers so that you can’t unlock on a whim.
- Using a string inside a straw, suspend the key/s from the top of a cup so they're directly in the middle. Fill the cup with water and freeze it solid. (Takes a little longer for the blow dryer to melt through the center this way, as opposed to freezing it in an ice cube mold.)
- Leave it outside overnight
- Bury the key somewhere in your backyard. Don’t mark the location.
- Use a timed lockbox.
- Throw it behind a heavy piece of furniture
- Kayak to a nearby island and leave it in a secret spot for the weekend. (True story.)
For safety reasons we must remind you to keep an emergency key handy, like at work or in your car.
Reminders for the Road
- We’ll say it a million times: no two chastity journeys are the same. Borrowing tips from others can be helpful, but if they aren’t working for you, you’ll know. Just keep tweaking until you find the perfect fit that flows best with your lifestyle.
- What you feel today won’t necessarily feel the same tomorrow, the day after that, or next week. Refer back to Tip #1. Track your progress.
- You might not think this can be possible now, but denial can ultimately feel more pleasurable than any orgasm.
Mental Mastery
No matter who holds your key, chastity mastery is all about self-control. You could own countless devices or hide your keys in a hundred different places, but all of that is meaningless without your full commitment and determination.
Real User Perspective
“In my opinion, there is no point in making the key hard to find because it's all a matter of willpower, if you can't resist and keep unlocking, throwing the key away won't prevent you from popping one ball out of the ring and escaping out of the cage, unless you're wearing a PA piercing, but even then, bolt cutters can still be used.
So really, it's a matter of willpower, nobody can force you to be caged, even with a partner, you stay caged because you want to, that's the truth.”
If you’ve been locked -- by yourself or otherwise -- was that real user perspective way harsh, or too true?
Please leave your thoughts, tips, and tricks for other users below. Curious minds want to know your success stories.